Sometimes I allow music to create my mood for me. Or maybe I just think that I do. After teaching class today I felt an intense happy feeling flow through me. So much that honestly I wanted to cry. I kept saying to myself you aren't pregnant. Why are you getting so emotional? I was listening to the new 30 Seconds From Mars CD. The song "This is War"....sometimes its not the lyrics of the song that get to me. It's the musical composition. How it stirs up emotions that I cannot control.
I started thinking how grateful I am to be where I am today. I came to Jersey about 2 years 7 months ago. I have to say I haven't liked living in Jersey all that much in comparison to how I liked living in Arizona or Utah. I am from NY so coming back to the east coast I was stoked about getting to be able to go to NYC all the time. Still it reminds me of where I grew up. The little town called Sharon Springs in middle of nowhere in upstate NY. For those of who are saying where? It's only about 30 minutes from Cooperstown...Most of you might know this is where the baseball hall of fame is. I love Sharon. It's a quaint small town that I can say I honestly had some of the greatest experiences of my life. I was able to work and meet survivors of the holocaust. To meet them and hear their stories I wouldn't trade for anything. I used to love exploring the old hotels that were abandoned and dilapidated. We were careless and more fascinated by the exploration that cured our boredom. Still to this day for some reason I can't see myself living in a small town. What is it about my personality that can't deal with quiet? I come home everyday and honestly I just constantly need to move! I need to do something! Small rural area's make this very difficult for me. Thank goodness for Yoga. That is what saves me and calms me down. Yoga tells me to relax and settle. Slow down and smell the flowers like everyone keeps telling me to do.
Now I realize that I came here maybe not 100% happy to be here though I realized today again it is one path that I was meant to do. As I started to fill up with emotion after teaching class. I look at every person in my class that I get to talk to and teach just a teeny bit of yoga too and realize this is what makes me happy. Not just teaching yoga but the experience of meeting new people. Learning more about them. Hearing their jokes or their stories. Even when they tell me to go easy on them. It means something is working. Even the young airman who asked me if they could have another class or earlier yoga class. His excitement and exuberance put a smile on my face that I couldn't swipe off.
We all have had issues throughout our lives that cause us to be or act the way we do today. It's finding the positive in everyday life that helps you find your place and what drives you or motivates you to get up in the morning. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I don't know where I'm going next and you know I never really do. I just know I'll be ready when it comes.
